It's so saddening and disheartening to know there is nothing you can do or say to save someone that you love beyond measure. Someone who has entered a destructive relationship and can't see it. An adult given the power of choice and this is what they chose...
We as humans, can be very selfish by nature, saying we are doing something for the benefit of another when truly it's based on our wants. We've lost hope in the fact that things change and the best is yet to come.
We begin thinking there is no way that I will ever survive. Those things wont happen for me. That's nice, but your more special than I am. I'm damaged goods that no one will ever except.
God has given us all the power of choice and decision, but sometimes we make the wrong ones rationalizing them to fit our wants not our needs.
The weakness that enters our body from the loneliness of wanting to share your love and life with someone else can seem unbearable at times. We can make rash decisions based on this loneliness and can end up with an abusive partner, men and women.
Abuse does not solely mean physical "punishment." It can be emotional abuse and verbal abuse.
Once you are "broken" by this person, you begin to believe the things that they say to you. You begin to feel worthless and emotionally drained. You feel as though there is no possible way that anyone could ever want you especially when this person you have given your whole heart barely wants you.
You begin to blame yourself and have a tendency to cover up for them saying, oh they wont do it again. They didn't really lie, I just misunderstood. It's my fault they blew up, I know they don't like that and I could have prevented it.
Each time you excuse their wrongs, it only encourages them to continue the behavior.
It can seem impossible to escape this viscous life style because of your feeling of being worthless. If they leave you, you feel your life is over. It is very easy to go back to this person when given the opportunity due to your brokenness. But let me say, abusive nature does NOT end. It is a character issue. A life changing moment of death or some other traumatic event is likely the only way to "change" these people, you cannot. And they will not for you.
People who have children with an abusive partner will say things like, but they need their dad/mom. Children need both of their parents.
While this is true in most cases, you need to sit back and think, do I really want my child raised in this environment? Do I really want them to have this person's character flaws? Because even when you say oh they wont be like that they're my children! This is not true, children act like BOTH of their parents when raised with them, it is WRONG and it is SELFISH for you to keep them in a situation like that, especially knowing full well the destruction to others that it causes.
I am not endorsing separation or divorce due to laziness, I am trying to explain that this behavior is not acceptable. Ever. For any reason.
God gave you the power of choice for a reason, to create the best life possible, not to accept things the way that they are.
Be very picky.
Write down your desires in a partner and never quit until you find them.
Leave everything to chance (that's when you will find them.)
No one is perfect I understand, but the person who deserves you will treat you like you are...
Affectionately, Tornado Aly